What is Self-Care? Understanding Its Importance and Benefits for Busy Mums

jennytheissignutri
30. Mai 2024
10 Min. Lesezeit

As a mother, self-care often seems like a dream; it's beautiful, peaceful and relaxing. But it isn't real. It's just a fantasy that fades as soon as the alarm rings. We would love to have those few hours to walk in nature, take a long bath or read for hours on end but that just doesn't seem possible with our hectic schedules. Even though we know it is important, and we would love to do it, we just can't seem to make it happen. Yet, to be the mum we want to be (and the mother our children deserve), we must learn to make time for self-care in our lives.

As a nutrition coach working with mums of young children (and having young children myself), I often encounter the misconception that self-care is a luxury rather than a necessity. Because there always seem to be more pressing things on our to-do list, we tend to push self-care to the bottom with the intention of doing it later, when things calm down. The reality of parenting is that there will never be an easier season but that does not mean that you cannot take time for yourself. Making time for yourself as a parent is essential for maintaining balance, promoting a healthy lifestyle, and ensuring that you can give your best to your family without sacrificing your well-being. If we hope to (or intend to) make time for self-care, we must learn to set boundaries and remember that we are important as well.

As a parent, it is very easy to fall into giving all we have to our children and neglecting ourselves at the expense of our desire to be a good mother. This Mother Martyr Syndrome comes about when we believe the only way to be a good mother is to sacrifice every part of us to do so. Tradition and social pressure often push us to give all that we have to our children, wanting desperately to be deemed a good mum but not taking the time to meet our own needs, whether physically, mentally emotionally or socially. This results in us feeling burned out and exhausted, and often taking out those emotions on the people that we truly desire to give our best to. Finding that balance between caring for our little humans and caring for ourselves often seems impossible but it is important to set priorities and boundaries in this area, not only for ourselves but also for our children. When we prioritise our children's needs and those things that need to happen over our own needs, we often push our need for self-care to the bottom of the list where it gets neglected. We feel guilty or selfish for taking time for ourselves but "when mothers prioritize their own needs, they are better equipped to handle the demands of motherhood (The Ross Center, 2023)".

Being a good mother does not require you to sacrifice all you are to give your best to your children; we must not forget ourselves in the pursuit of being a good mum. You were someone else before you became a mother and you did not cease to exist as an individual when you gave birth to that beautiful baby boy or girl. You continue to be a unique and valuable human being while you are a parent. When we let parenting become the only thing we invest in, we risk losing ourselves in this new identity. Yes, we should invest in our children but we must also invest in ourselves. We need to pursue interests outside of being a parent so that we don't lose who we are. I am telling you this because I wish more people had told me (I did have one friend though who did and I am grateful to God for her). One of the things I struggled with in those first two years of parenthood was discovering how the previous me (pre-mum me) could continue to exist alongside mum-me. Self-care was one thing that helped me to find how these two people could co-exist in the same body.

As a new parent who is feeling lost in the busyness of motherhood, we often struggle to remember (or discover) who we are. Our identity easily becomes lost in a sea of nappies, bottles and sleepless nights. By pursuing small acts of self-care, we can continue to develop as human beings without sacrificing our time with our children. In fact, by practising those regular small acts we enable ourselves to better balance the daily stresses of motherhood and be a better mother for it. It allows time for us to process emotions and thoughts, giving our mind and body time to relax and be refreshed. In this article, we’ll discuss what self-care is, why it's important, and simple, practical examples you can incorporate into your busy life.

What is Self-Care for Busy Mums?

Self-care involves intentional actions that support your physical, mental, and emotional health. For mums juggling the demands of young children, self-care is about finding small, manageable ways to prioritise your well-being amidst the rushes of daily life. It’s not about grand gestures but about consistent, meaningful practices that help you recharge and stay balanced.

The Importance of Self-Care for Busy Mums

We often downplay the importance of self-care particularly as parents but regular self-care can help mothers better manage daily life and care for their personal development. Regular acts of self-care offer the following benefits to both you and your family.

Reduced Stress: Regular self-care practices help manage stress levels, preventing burnout. This reduces irritability and supports a more peaceful and relaxing environment in the home which benefits the whole family.
Increased Energy: Proper nutrition, exercise, and rest boost your energy levels, helping you keep up with your children. The one thing that almost all parents struggle with is energy. Often we feel like we are fuelled by love and coffee but these things will only get you so far! By taking care of the physical needs of rest, proper nutrition (no, coffee is not a meal) and exercise, we give our children the gift of our energy
Better Mental Health: Mindfulness and emotional self-care reduce anxiety and improve overall mental health. Our minds often swirl with so many thoughts of the day. By practising intentional self-care we help to regulate our thoughts and emotions setting a good example for our kids and benefitting them with a more emotionally regulated parent.
Enhanced Relationships: When you take care of yourself, you’re better able to nurture your relationships with your children and partner. We were made for relationships; we all desire healthy relationships, not only within the family but also external relationships with friends and wider society. Self-care can help us to release the emotional and mental burdens of parenthood and foster better relationships with those around us, especially our children.
Greater Productivity: A balanced mind and body lead to increased productivity in managing household tasks and work. This can also help us to set clear priorities and prevent us from being overwhelmed by that endless to-do list.

Practical Self-Care Strategies for Mums of Young Children

Practising self-care can be extremely challenging as a parent but if we focus on small, simple acts we make it much more manageable. You do not need large blocks of time, even 10-15 minutes can make a world of difference to both us and our families. Here are some examples of how you could start practising self-care now:

Physical Self-Care

Quick Morning Stretch Routine Start your day with a simple 10-minute stretch routine. This can help you wake up, feel more energized, and be ready to tackle the day. Stretching increases blood flow and flexibility, setting a positive tone for the day. YouTube has some great quick stretching videos that can help you get moving on those tired mornings. Check out this video below for a quick morning stretch from MadFit

Balanced, Easy-to-Prepare Meals Prepare balanced meals that are quick and easy. For instance, a smoothie with spinach, banana, almond milk, and a spoonful of nut butter provides essential nutrients without the hassle. Batch cooking on weekends can also ensure you have healthy meals ready to go. I love batch cooking on Fridays to let me have a day of cooking on Saturdays and still be able to provide balanced nutritious meals for me and my family. Even cooking a double-batch when you are preparing dinner can help to make this basic act of self-care more manageable.

Incorporate Movement with Your Kids Find ways to be active with your children. This could be a fun dance session in the living room, a walk to the park, or a mini obstacle course in the backyard. Physical activity benefits both you and your children. My daughter is getting older now (she just turned seven) so family bike rides are one of our favourite things to do as well as playing on the lawn together, football in the driveway or going to the playground. Scavenger hunts are also a fun way to make exploring your neighbourhood more fun. ChatGPT or Google can be a great starting point for creating a scavenger hunt-style trip for your family.

Mental Self-Care

Mindfulness Practice Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. Spend five minutes in the morning or before bed focusing on your breath or practising gratitude. Apps like Headspace or Calm can provide guided meditations that fit into a busy schedule.

Learning and Growth Engage in activities that challenge your mind and promote growth. This could be reading a book, listening to an educational podcast, or trying a new hobby. These activities can be done while your child naps or during quiet time. When my daughter was little, I set aside at least one naptime as my time. This was the time when I would read, crochet (I taught myself with the help of YouTube), rest or watch a movie. Some days it was only 20 minutes but those few minutes did a lot for me both physically and mentally. I know this isn't easy as it feels like there is always something that needs doing but learning to set things aside and just taking those few minutes for myself was important. Trust me; the washing will still be there when you are done!

Emotional Self-Care

Build a Support Network Connect with other mums who understand your journey. Join local mum groups or online communities where you can share experiences, seek advice, and support each other. Social connections are vital for emotional well-being. It is important though to use wisdom when we start building these communities, especially online. Make sure that these are people who align with your values and priorities. They should be people who encourage, support and help you (not judge or belittle you). For me, choosing a mother in my life who possessed the qualities that I desire as a mother, and as a person, was important. I tried a few different mothers groups but I chose a couple of individual mothers that aligned with my spiritual values and lifestyle choices. This is something that you need to decide if a mothers group is helpful for you but you will need a support network of some type. Motherhood can easily become a very lonely place so remember to take time to build and maintain relationships outside of the home.

Hobbies and Relaxation Find time for activities that bring you joy. Whether it’s gardening, crafting, or simply enjoying a cup of tea while your child naps, engaging in hobbies helps relax your mind and boost your mood. Allowing your body and mind to stop and just be for a few moments is of high importance when it comes to emotional regulation. We often find ourselves rushing from one task to another, struggling to keep everything going to the point that we often feel burned out and exhausted. Learning the importance of balance and taking time to pause and be in the moment will help to restore and reset you, both physically and mentally.

Spiritual Self-Care

Reflective Journaling Spend a few minutes each day journaling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Reflective journaling helps you connect with your inner self and provides a sense of clarity and peace. I have been starting my day off journalling for a few minutes for the last couple of years. For just fifteen minutes I write whatever comes into my head. It doesn't matter if it doesn't make any sense or if they are thoughts I don't think I should be having. It's about getting all those thoughts and worries out so they don't consume my mind and weigh me down for the rest of my day. I encourage you to try the same; I believe it will make a big difference in your life.

Nature Walks Take a walk in nature with your children (or by yourself). Whether it’s a stroll through the park or a hike in the woods, being in nature can be grounding and rejuvenating. Where I live, we are blessed to be surrounded by forest, so we regularly take walks through the trees and to the park or playgrounds. Simply being in nature has proven to have a calming and positive impact on our mental health.

Overcoming Common Barriers to Self-Care

Time Constraints

Solution: Incorporate self-care into your existing routine. Use small pockets of time effectively, like stretching while the kettle boils or practising deep breathing during your commute. It may involve setting boundaries, either with yourself or with your children (depending on their age). Make your needs known in a firm but gentle way. For example, if you are drinking your coffee, you can say to your child "When I am finished with my coffee, I will get you a snack/play with you/help you..." Remember though that this will depend on how old the child is as to how long it is reasonable for them to wait.

Guilt

Solution: Remind yourself that taking care of yourself enables you to take better care of your family. Self-care is not selfish but necessary. By practising self-care, you can give the best version of yourself to your family and your children.

Lack of Support

Solution: Communicate your needs to your partner, family, or friends. Ask for their support in giving you time for self-care, whether it’s watching the kids for 30 minutes or helping with household chores.

Conclusion: Prioritizing Self-Care for Busy Mums

As a parent, self-care is often overlooked or neglected. We have so many things on our plate that doing something for ourselves often leaves us feeling guilty or selfish. It seems almost impossible to find time in our day to do something non-essential. But self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for busy mums. Regular self-care helps us to manage the everyday stresses of motherhood, helps us manage our emotions better, improves relationships with those around us, improves our mental health and even allows us to be more productive both inside and outside the home. When we take time to care for ourselves, we give a calmer and more balanced version of ourselves to our children. Time and guilt are often the biggest struggles we face as mothers when it comes to self-care but when we understand how much self-care benefits both us and our families, we can make small acts work in our schedule. We must also learn to state our needs clearly to those around us, including our partners and even our children. By incorporating small, manageable self-care practices into your daily routine, you can maintain balance and promote a healthy lifestyle without feeling guilty or selfish. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to take better care of your family. Start with small steps and gradually build a self-care routine that works for you; just a few minutes a day can and will make a difference. You deserve it.

If you’re looking for more personalized advice on nutrition and self-care, feel free to reach out to me. Together, we can create a plan that fits seamlessly into your busy life, helping you thrive as a mum and as an individual.